Action now for a gender-neutral society in Nepal: Change should begin at home and school

As I went through my morning routine of plaiting my daughter’s hair, she shared with me some amusing incidents from her school. I relished our conversation and laughed heartily. However, I could not help but notice that, like most teenagers hoping for a gender-neutral society, she sometimes engaged in debates with her male friends. While she was usually courteous when disagreeing, she was adamant about presenting her fact and evidence-based arguments. So, I gently suggested that she try being friendly with the boys and prioritise building relationships over winning arguments. To my surprise, my daughter responded, “Mamma, you don’t know some of these guys; they are very egoistic. Thau ko thau aaukat dekhaidine ho (You need to show their status on the spot).”

Her response left me shocked, and I began to wonder where she learned such a thing. At home, we want to nurture a gender-neutral society and hence are mindful of the books she reads, the events she attends, and the language she uses, so I could not fathom how such biases could have crept into her mind. It is a simple illustration of how gender stereotypes persist in our society and how deeply ingrained they are, even in our younger generations.